Are You Ready to Go?

Sin has an insidious way of destroying your life. Cliche, no? It is amazing, though, how you can know something in your head, but until you feel it in your heart, until you experience the pain of failure and the misery of betraying your closest friend, you never truly understand sin. Sin betrays you. It uses you, chews your character up, rips into your soul, and leaves you a black, tangled up mess. And it can all start so innocuously.

"...Because you are special. You are a beautiful young women who has captivated me with your actions and words. God has given you a passion and a purity that has just intrigued me. With all my heart I am grateful for God having put you in my life. You are amazing. And I just cannot believe that you would like a poor little guy like me.

I started this email just to mail you my business cards, and to tell you that I hope your having a good day. I still hope your having a good day...and I hope I've made it a little better. Stay strong in the Lord. Keep on the right path. I'm not perfect, and neither are you. But through God's strength, we can make it through."

I emailed this to a girl at the start of a relationship a long, long time ago. I just found it today. I ended the email with a bible verse, and it was all nice and holy, and the scary thing is, I know that I meant it. How can you start a relationship with such convictions, and have it end the way it did?

It has now been three and a half years since I wrote that email. That relationship is long over, yet it has had a long lasting impact on my life. From that auspicious, holy beginning, our relationship devolved into a sinful, selfish mess, in which I seriously began to lose my identity in Christ. Why? I slowly faded into a sinful morass that I never properly combated from the start.

In the end, I lost it all.

Respect.
Honor.
Dignity.
Friendship.
Purity.
Love.


Gone. All of it, vanished in the air like a wisp of smoke.


Gone.


But, not quite. While I sat there on my pile of sinful manure, I realized that I was not alone...that there was someone crying over the stench of my sins.

All along, Jesus had been hanging out with me.

Honestly, I try to block out those years of my life. When I remember the hypocrisy, the lies, the lust, the failure...I never want to remember it.

But now, when I take an honest look back, I realize something that pains me more than anything else.

What was it like for God? To watch his adopted son roll around in the mud? How would the father have felt if he could have watched his son eat the food of the pigs?

Oh, the pain and sorrow He must have felt! How was that, to watch me foolishly choose my own prideful desires over the beautiful gifts he offered me? How a father must feel as he watches his son ruin his life, and know that he cannot step in to help until the son realizes his desperate state!

I was not alone. Not everything was gone.

No matter who left me in that time, no matter who I pushed away with my sinful actions, I have a God who sat with me on a rank pile of sinful crap, and took my hand, and said the most beautiful words I have ever heard in my life...

"Bradley...Are you ready to go now?"

  

 "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

"A Day in the Life"

     In my mind, The Beatles are the greatest band to walk the face of the planet, and their best song is, hands down, "A Day in the Life". "A Day in the Life" is a beautiful dramatization of an average day for an average person in the 20th century. Lennon takes his lyrics from newspaper clippings, singing of car accidents, potholes, war, and other such things. The melody takes on a sublime feeling as Lennon discusses the dross of daily life. After an uproarious commotion about two minutes in, we find McCartney singing at a brisk clip about waking up, falling out of bed, and running off to work. Compared to Lennon's slow drawl, McCartney feels refreshing, if not a little too busy. The switchover is quite obvious, and was actually intended that way; this is actually two songs, written separately by Lennon and McCartney, put together in a beautiful transition from hypnotic, to hectic, and back.
     Besides the lyrical and musical genius, I think that "A Day in the Life" brilliantly portrays the common struggle of man, in which he feels powerless to change the world around him. I myself can appreciate the dream-like quality life can take on when one reads the news and views the world around us. Often times it becomes just as surreal as Lennon's vocals, echoing into the air around us, yet never truly making an impact. Yet, in the midst of this tumultuous din of white noise, we also feel exactly like McCartney, rushing to work after slurping down a cup of joe. Life often leaves us panting for breath as we dash to and fro, accomplishing the mundane tasks set before us. This song represents the dichotomy of the chaos in the world that we are seemingly unable to affect due to the hectic schedules we keep. How can one keep his or her head above water long enough to change the fact that the world is drowning itself in violence, greed, jealousy and pride?
     In "The Way of the Heart", Henri Nouwen tells the same story, a tale of our world drowning within itself. We are searching for solid footing, something to get us out of the water, and we find that footing on the island called Golgotha, where our Savior died so long ago. Our hearts must remain content enough to remain in that place, and not to jump right back into the morass of society, no matter what our intentions are for doing so. Once we are satisfied to find our fulfillment in Christ alone, we can go into the world as those who walk on water, keeping our eyes solely on Christ as he guides our hands to do his work. Just as "A Day in the Life" comes to a powerful finish, so our lives can culminate in a resoundingly beautiful climax, but only when we answer the call that Christ puts forth in our lives.

"Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men." -Matthew 4:19-