I am broken. Yet, in this brokenness, I am fulfilled.
The Christian life does not make too much sense. When you are weak, then you are strong. The first shall be last, and the last shall be first. Whoever gains his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my (Jesus') sake will find it.
This is something I have been taught throughout my few years on this earth. Not everything in life is as you want it. Sometimes we have to give up what we desire most in order to truly follow God. Now, this might not seem like a terribly difficult thing to do, but sometimes, it hurts. Sometimes, it rips something out of your control so fast you would think a hurricane just whipped through.
Yet.
Yet is it worth it?
Yes.
I cannot always tell you that I am happy about it, or satisfied, or in control of my emotions. I am angry, sad, hurt, frustrated, confused and tired. I am tired of following God. Sometimes I just want to have things because I want them.
Then, I look back on my past few years. I see the struggles, the desires. I see in myself the ability to utterly ignore God's desires for my life, and the frustration that came of it. I am tired of living that life, and cannot continue to ignore God's calling in my life. No matter the cost. Even though it may cost me the thing that lies closest to my heart.
What have you given up for the Lord? The life of discipleship is not an easy one. The Lord is continually calling us to go deeper, beckoning us into the depths of his heart. Will you answer his call? It is not easy! Do not answer that question lightly. This is a serious life of commitment and devotion. Will you be like Augustine, who said famously "Lord, give me continence and chastity, but not yet?" Do not turn to the Lord unless you are ready for serious life change.
Yet, I tell you confidently that it is worth it.
The life that we live is not easy. Nor will it ever be. However, I can promise you something; God wants you! God wants you. No matter what. Come, lay your burdens upon Christ, you who are tired and lonely, and he will give you rest! I do not care what troubles and tragedies that you bring along, and nor does God. He offers an eternal relationship, a rest for your spirit, a cup of cool water for your soul.
"Whoever comes to me I will never cast out. For I have come down from heaven, not to do my will but the will of him who sent me. And this is the will of him who sent me, that I should lose nothing of all that he has given me, but raise it up on the last day. For this is the will of my Father, that everyone who looks on the Son and believes in him should have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day."
